November started with hope and enthusiasm as I joined hundreds of thousands of writers globally to write for NaNoWriMo but it ended in failure. Even my goal to write 10,000 words faltered and then hurtled to a full stop. If NaNoWriMo had to write a school report it would say “she could do better if she applied herself” before handing me a sticker declaring “NaNoWriMo 2017 loser”.
I could come up with a pageful of excuses and reasons but they do not change the truth. I failed. I wasn’t committed enough to write despite life’s hurdles, strong enough to fight through the fear of failure and just write the scenes in my head, however crap the words were but most of all I was not assertive enough to implement my plan of retreating to my room undisturbed to write. As I saw other writers word count grow and welfies appear showing their commitment to the cause, mine crumbled with shame. This sealed my fate because a mind full of “I should be doing …” leaves no room for creativity.
On the plus side words were written, new ideas were formed and old ones developed. The shame of not achieving my daily target made me analyse my commitment to The Ellfaenian Journals, writing and acheiving my dream of being a published author. The desire is stronger than ever. When life tugged me away from my writing, it flared with rage as restrictions were placed on it. This forced me to lay the foundations with family to allow me in the future to work undisturbed. Writer’s block and procrastination diverted my mind to the other side of being an author – marketing and promoting.
Writers can no longer hide, write and appear blinking from a study with a manuscript in hand to forward to a publisher before hiding again. They are expected to promote their own work especially debut authors. This requires becoming social media saffy, networking and battling with strong introvert tendencies and talk to people.
When I wasn’t writing I was learning. YouTube videos, articles and Pinterst are my new best friends. I now understand what a SEO is, set up a domain homeserver and SSL. I was sucked into the complicated world of WordPress and I discovered WordPress themes and widgets are a perfect for procrastinators. You can play for hours.
This month I failed NaNoWriMo but I have gained vital knowledge to move forward with a new site, improved enthusiasm and stronger foundations to achieve my goal.
My new site is kakenzie.com Please follow the link as it will no longer show on WordPress reader. Potentially I lose all my followers for the desire more freedom and flexibility and I would hate to lose you so hop over. Thank you.
I have rambled enough and it is time to write. Christmas is days away and there is nothing like twinkling lights, festive atmosphere to sow new seeds of ideas.
How did your NaNoWriMo go?
Hope you like the new site, let me know suggestions welcome.
1 thought on “Writing, failure and new beginnings.”
Such a beautifully honest and positive post. I’m delighted to join you for the journey…I’m on a similar path…all full of hope and determination (and also desperately trying to shed the doubt!) 🙂